The Christmas Trap

Some Christmas traps are not as fun as those Kevin McCallister pulled off when he was left Home Alone during the Holidays. 

When we grow up the magic we used to experience as kids becomes a gigantic expectation that can hurt our hearts and break our spirits. We let the outside world turn this season into what I have decided to call “The Christmas Trap”, a widespread phenomenon to which only children seem to be immune. 

As young rascals everything fascinated us, let it be the first candy cane of the season, the lights shining bright in every street, getting to be the ones to put the star on the tree and wondering if Santa had received the letter we personally wrote with our best crayons. 

If you are a Latin American as am I, it would translate into tasting the first “torreja” made by you mamá, tía or abuela, hearing “Feliz Navidad” or “Mi Burrito Sabanero” in every store you go into, being excited about wearing your “estrenos” to church and wondering if Santa would like the cookies that came from a tin can that would later become the sewing kit of your home. 

Just by writing this few lines nostalgia already hits my eyes, watering about what usted to be, and accepting I too have become a part of the “Christmas Trap” over the past years.

Since social media has become widespread, we scroll through picture perfect houses decorated from head to toe, with the brightest lights and the biggest ornaments wishing we could live in a place like that.

We long for the sequin dresses and the nicest suits, the perfect makeup and hair, a banquet big enough to feed a whole army and a massive amount of gifts to be found under the tree on Christmas morning. Oh and let’s not forget the ideal postals uploaded before the night ends.

Being beguiled by all these expectations, we forget about what’s truly important in this season. Feeling love, spreading joy and being kind to others, remember it is not necessarily the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. 

It is okay if you are not feeling the Christmas spirit this year, you still have plenty of Decembers to bring it back into your life. Remember that you are valuable, important and that you deserve to be happy. Everything you went through this year may take some time to heal and it takes a brave person to acknowledge it. 

It is okay if you have a family like mine that by chance and certain past grudges decides to scatter a bit during the Holidays. I have accepted that Christmases past at my grandmother’s house will be no more and that we can’t share the same table for a night with my cousins, uncles and aunts. Despite missing the old times I am grateful we can at least see each other through the day and know certain bonds have never been broken. Families are not always perfect, but in the end, each and everyone of them brings light into our lives.

Chosen family is something we rarely talk about and if they are the ones who stood by your side through the year, that’s the place you belong this Christmas even if it means breaking ties with people who have wronged you in the past. We can give our own sense of meaning to the season.

This time of the year homesickness becomes inevitable. For those away from home, please don´t torture yourselves looping «I´ll be Home for Christmas» this year. I know it is hard, you wish your loved ones were by your side but sometimes following a dream, a vocation or posting takes some sacrifices. Let the magic of technology connect you with your family. If you need to shed a tear after your video call ends, don’t be ashamed, everyone deserves to be home for the holidays and I really wish you can be home next year.

This is a time where people start wrapping up their year in a more intricate and curated way than their presents. Life seems perfect, vibrant, full of adventure and makes us wonder if our camera roll came short of expectations. I personally tried to make the “2024 season comes to end» trend and thought I didn’t have enough material to create such a wonderful reel.

I then realized I had enough pictures and videos and was falling into the Christmas Trap again, not realizing people only share the good, the triumphs and the lifestyles not all of us have. Don’t neglect yourself a chance to go over your pictures and videos and thank life for everything that happened and didn’t happen. It is okay if you didn’t travel that much, if you didn’t go to all concerts in your city, if you didn’t have fancy gatherings or the best camera to take pictures, life comes in all shapes and sizes, so, why try to fit into someone else’s? Christmas also comes in all shapes and sizes.

If you did have a picture perfect year, and a stellar Christmas eve and morning, know that you are very lucky and you shouldn’t take anything for granted. 

Now for all of you reading this entry, which will probably be me, my grandma and perhaps one subscriber (thanks for being here), I invite you to create a new type of magic for this season. Let your Christmas list include doing something good for others, gifting a smile to someone who needs it, reflect about every small blessing in your life and remember nothing is as perfect as it seems, your celebrations or even the lack of them are totally valid. 

As for next year, I hope Santa’s gift is to free us all from the Christmas Trap. If you feel like falling into one, please let it be a movie marathon that includes The Parent Trap and the clever contraptions created by Kevin McCallister in Home Alone.

-Andrea Lucía @meetmywords